“Stay positive.”
“Look on the bright side.”
“Good vibes only!”

We’ve all heard it. Maybe we’ve even said it. But here’s the truth: not every moment calls for a silver lining. Not every storm needs a rainbow. And sometimes, the loudest “positive” voices are the ones doing the most harm.

At The Fortified Living Blog, we believe in real emotional freedom—not fake happiness. So let’s unpack the truth behind toxic positivity, identify when it shows up, and share resources to help you (and those around you) embrace authentic emotional wellness.

 What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state that results in the denial, minimization, or invalidation of real emotions—particularly the difficult ones.

It's pretending everything is okay when it’s not. It’s pressuring people to “smile through it” when what they need is space to feel.

 4 Examples of Toxic Positivity in Real Life

1. After a Loss: “At least they’re in a better place.”

This statement, while well-meaning, shuts down grief. It makes people feel like their pain is a problem to be fixed instead of a wound to be witnessed.

2. During Burnout: “Be grateful you have a job!”

Gratitude and exhaustion can coexist. Telling someone to “just be thankful” ignores the very real need for rest, boundaries, and mental health care.

3. In Depression: “You just need to think more positively.”

Depression isn’t a mindset issue—it’s a health issue. Telling someone to simply “cheer up” is dismissive and dangerous.

4. In Conversations: “Let’s not talk about anything negative.”

Avoiding “negative” topics in friendships or relationships creates emotional isolation. People start to feel like they can only show their highlight reel—not their real life.